Shameless plug

So this is my full on shameless plug.  But you have to know that:
1. I would NEVER EVER EVER recommend a product I thought was bad.
2. I would NEVER EVER EVER recommend something that was not going to be beneficial for those taking the offer.

So the deal is a few years ago we got new windows in our house. We had wood windows that leaked so bad that it was so cold in the house all winter even with the heater on. When we would have a fire in the fireplace it would actually cool off the house even more since air was then sucked in through all the gaps in the windows. I did go around and add all the window weatherproofing stuff and did all that I could. I re-caulked, I did EVERYTHING I could. I have even put bubble wrap on my windows!!! So we got an estimate for new windows. The sales guy came in and first off handed us a $100 walmart gift card BEFORE the sales pitch. After looking at the windows, and the price, we decided to get them. OH MY GOSH the difference was amazing!!!! So then we had to move for my husbands job. Back to crappy windows we went! A huge hail storm caused us to need to replace the front windows, and let me tell you, they are good, but they are not the same! So we ended up calling the same company again to do our back windows. They are being installed shortly.  I can't wait! No more cold air pouring through the windows!

So how does this benefit you? They have a referral program! For everyone that is referred by us they get $100 walmart gift card. You get that before the sales pitch. If you don't buy, you still keep the card! The benefit for us is we also get $100. So there is something in it for both of us. But seriously who doesn't want $100 to buy groceries, or birthday gifts. If you are not interested the sales pitch takes an hour. So that is $100 an hour pay. If you are interested it will take longer. So if you are interested please let me know and I will refer you. The company is in 18 states. NM, NE, KS, OK, TX, NE, LA, IA, IL, MO, AR, MS,TN, KY, AL,GA, SC, NC.  And you have to be a homeowner.  But that is the only requirement.

If you would like to take part in this offer please register HERE

Superwoman. Umm I think not!

I don't think people know what they are saying often when the begin to speak. I think the idea has formed in the head, but many do not take the time to formulate their sentences in their head enough to make sure they never put their foot in their mouth. I know a few who are very quiet, and you can see the gears turning before they speak. Often they are speaking about a point that was made a few points before. They have been contemplating the information spoken, planned out their statement and then speak. Then well there is me. I joke that I have no filter. You know that tiny thing that stops dumb stuff from going from your brain directly to your mouth. Yha I think mine was made out of cheap plastic and in China. It probably broke about as fast as those dollar store toys. So I do understand that people say things without thinking often however I have noticed a difference. There are those that say something dumb and get red and embarrassed, and there are those that just keep going and don't notice.

I get many many comments when I am out with my children. The most common one is  "Are they all yours?" Honestly I'm very surprised by this one. Each and every time I hear it I really want to say "No. I thought life was not challenging enough so each day I try to run my errands with as many stray children as I can find wandering around my neighborhood before I leave."

Another comment I get quite often is "My you have your hands full." Since moving to the south they now add on "Bless your heart." I am also confused by this one. For anyone that knows me when I am out and about my baby is usually in the ergo. My hands are free. My children practice the buddy system and all hold each others hands. When we shop my kids grab the items off the shelf most the time and put them in the cart. Often they are holding the coupons, the shopping list and sometimes even my purse. I really do have my hands free most the time. So why are they saying my hands are full?  I really don't get it.

Those comments just seem silly, and thoughtless to me. But there is one comment that I get quite often that hurts. It feels like a knife stabbing me. I want to cry each and every time I hear it. I want to cover my children's ears to protect them. My smile fades, my voice dulls, and my joy takes a hard hit. The comment "Oh I could never handle that many children. I can hardly handle my (fill in the blank #) children." I'm sure to those people it is a complement. But to me it is sheer pain.

Was I born different than these people? Did God make me to be supernatural that I'm able to handle 6 kids? Am I just a gluten for punishment? Can I really handle this better than they could?

Are we measured to each other? I just told a friend the other day "Wow. I'm glad I'm not judged against you. Otherwise I would be toast!" We are measured to God's standards not each other. God has a plan for each and every one of us. Right now His plan for me is to be a stay at home mom with 6 children. That is not God's plan for my husband. We each have our own jobs on this earth. Some are to be doctors, lawyers and such. (ok now I'm singing in my head.) Some are to be business people, stay at home moms, some just want to be cowboys. (now I need a new song!)  God has a plan for all of our lives. To look at someone else and judge who they are and put them in a box because of the path God has placed them on is just not fair.

I often get told by people of how hard things are for them to get things done, but then in the same breath tell me how it must be easier for me to do them. I hear from people of how hard homeschooling is and how challenging it is, then in the same breath be told that they are sure I don't have those problems too. I'm not sure where this idea comes from. Am I just so wonderful at everything that it all looks easy?  NOPE! I will be the first to tell you that I don't think I'm wonderful at anything. I see all the areas I fall short on. I see all the crafty people out there making things on pintrest. I see all the hand made cards, and the fresh baked bread, and honestly the wrapped birthday gifts. Yes I said it. My kids get birthday gifts in bags! No not always the pretty kind. We only have the pretty kind if someone gave us a pretty bag and it didn't get ruined from another gift. I will give my kids presents in paper bags, trash bags, and yes even walmart bags! 

It really does feel as if moms of many are often held to a higher standard. People are surprised when we are not on top of things. People are surprised when we procrastinate. People are surprised when we are overwhelmed. When at the grocery store I see the stares when my children touch something they were told not to. I get "the eye". You know the look of disgust I'm talking about.

But they are right. They can't handle 6 kids like I can. They can't homeschool like I can. They can't deal with the same things that I can. Only I can do that. If they were to walk a day in my shoes they would fall flat on their face. 

There is a song I love to sing in the house when I'm feeling a bit stressed and overwhelmed.
"Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin."

This is the only part of the song I sing. It is the only part I need to remember. It is by God's grace that I am able to get up in the morning. It is by God's grace that I am able to get through the day. See I'm a sinner just like the rest. I have yelled, thrown things, disobeyed, been angry, prideful, stolen, cheated, and many more. But God has given me grace for my shortcomings and forgiven me of my sin. I won't ever be perfect. I will always keep working on making myself better. But for now I am who I am and God meets me here.

When someone makes a comment that they can't do something that I am doing it hurts because God is taken out of the equation. They are saying that I am someone that is strong enough to do this all on my own. I know for a fact that when I try to do this on my own I fall flat on my face, and not only do I suffer for it, but my whole family does too! I have done things all on my own power. It is like swimming against the current in a swiftly moving river. Instead with the grace and mercy from God I am able to do all that He has asked of me.

As far as them not being able to handle 6 kids like me of course they can't when they have 2. But when or if they have #3 they will be able to handle it because God will gladly give out the grace that is needed for it. When #4, or 5 or 6 or even 15 come around God will once again dish out some grace. When a trial in life comes along. God is always there to walk you through it if you are willing to have the company. There is never a circumstance that God puts before you that He doesn't also give you the ability to handle. 

I am always so hurt and saddened to think that so many people walk around this world thinking they can't have the next child they desire because 2 children is hard, and they couldn't imagine having more. Grace is dished out when #3 comes along. (Trust me a LOT of grace comes with #3) Or people not homeschooling when they feel it is necessary, or something God has called them to do. Grace comes with each stroke of the pencil or crayon. It hurts to know that so many never fulfill what God has for them because they have not allowed God to give them the grace to handle it. I never want my children to become adults to not get to see all that God has in store for them. Some of my children have come to me with a promise, and I can not wait to see it! But if they listen to these strangers that we encounter how will they ever feel equipped? How will they feel like they can have all the children God puts on their heart? How can they move mountains if they only here how others don't feel like they can do it. I want my children to learn "With Christ all things are possible." I want them to have faith that moves mountains. I want them to not fear what the future holds, but embarrass the will of God even when it seems too big.

So next time when you see someone doing something you don't believe you can remind yourself that you are not in their shoes and God has just given them the grace to be where He has them right now. And if you want to say something to them, tell them how blessed they are. You never know how much it will mean to a mom to hear something sweet while out and about. But I can tell you that it will mean much much more than you will ever know!

Best day ever?

Yesterday Ben got his tooth pulled. We went in for cleanings and have known for a long time that an abscess was starting under his green tooth. He killed that tooth a few weeks before Bekah was born so we didn't know if it had been there since then, or if it was new. We decided to leave it and watch it. So we had been watching it for a year and a half. Then we went in an it had obviously gotten worse. So out the tooth goes. I explained what they were going to do to him and he was great. Just laid there had his tooth pulled, waited for the gas to wear off and out the door we went.

So as any mom would do I tried to make his day a bit easier for a bit. I let him have ice cream for lunch. It was 2 when we got out of the dentist office and they were all starving. Well what are we going to feed Ben? He needs something cold, nothing he has to chew (so that he doesn't bit his tongue or lip). I thought ice cream was a great idea!! Plus for those of you that have seen this boy you know how skinny he is so I do secretly try to plump him up a bit. (It doesn't work)

We went to chick-fil-a for dinner yes he got an ice cream after he finished his food. Then did some much needed shopping. At publix the bagger gave my kids balloons. After that was done we headed over to see Brian and Ella at BB gun practice. While driving to see what happens at practice Ben says "This was the best day ever!" in his most excited voice.

So I guess when you want to do something special for your kids you just need to pull a tooth and give them lots of ice cream and a balloon!

Can you hear that voice over the angry birds?

So I have had a "smart" phone for a long time now. What do I use it for??? I make phone calls and text. Yes I can do that with a regular phone but I wanted to have GPS (cause I get lost all the time!) Then I decided it would be nice to be able to receive my emails on my phone. Then I discovered games that I can play. Today I realized I could use the google RSS feeder on my phone to keep up with some blogs, and a radio program I like to listen to. The possibilities are endless. I found a way to text but instead of texting using my thumbs I speak into the phone and it puts it all down in a text for me. Kinda crazy!!! I can buy things on ebay with my phone, shop on amazon, order food, and even tell what star I am looking at just by pointing the camera at the sky.

So all of this got me thinking. How often do you see children with a phone some as young as 3 years old playing games, listening to music, and watching videos. What are we being conditioned to? Many many young adults now have no idea what it is like to sit and do nothing. I just read a post by someone who while waiting for jury duty was watching a movie on his phone. How many people in todays society can just sit and do nothing? Old men used to sit on porches and just watch the clouds roll by. In 50 years what are the old men going to be doing? Porch chairs and swings will no longer exist.

I am reminded of the bible verse "be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10a (I looked up the reference by talking into my phone and it gave me the location of the verse.) In order to hear God we must be still and quiet. I know for me God does not yell at me. It is a small quiet voice. If I am busy and forget to listen I do not hear it. Are we training our children to be still and quiet before the Lord? One of my children asked me the other day why I hear God and she doesn't. I had to explain to her that if she is always talking she can not hear what is being said. Same thing goes for the small quiet voice.

These "smart" phones have made life much easier and convenient. But they have their place. Maybe the battery life wouldn't be so short if we didn't use them for everything and depend on them every moment of our lives. We also need to remember to be still and quiet before the Lord, and to train our children to do the same.

Friendship

What is friendship? I have come to learn that many have different opinions on what friendship is. Webster's 1828 dictionary defines friendship as:

An attachment to a person, proceeding from intimate acquaintance, and a reciprocation of kind offices, or from a favorable opinion of the amiable and respectable qualities of his mind. Friendship differs from benevolence, which is good will to mankind in general, and from that love which springs from animal appetite. True friendship is a noble and virtuous attachment, springing from a pure source, a respect for worth or amiable qualities. False friendship may subsist between bad men, as between thieves and pirates. This is a temporary attachment springing from interest, and may change in a moment to enmity and rancor.

How many of us have friendships that are like the thieves and pirates? Are our friendships just there when it is convenient, comfortable, or of our benefit? In todays world we have social websites where we can connect with people from the past, present, and make future friends. How much of these sites are really looking for the spot to fill our gossip jars? Someone I know put her status message as "good morning stalkers" due to the feeling of being watched by so many however few talk, and engage as a true friend would. How often do we log on to these sites just to see what is going on with someone else? What are posting these status messages about?

Another aspect of a friendship is to be there for each other in a time of need. When a friend is going through a hard spot in life, whether it is something that you can relate to or not we should be there as a support, and if you don't know what to say to them you can always ask "What do I need to say? What can I do."

As christians we are to have fellowship with each other. We are to gather as like minded christians and encourage one another. When was the last time you went up to someone at church you didn't know and introduced yourself, and even went as far as to invite them over for lunch? Who knows what that person may be going through. Maybe inviting them over for lunch will make their year!

A friend is someone you know you can trust to be there for you when life gets hard. When you are struggling with your place in God's plan, your inner thoughts, your inner struggles. Someone that you know will grieve with you when you are grieving, and laugh with you when you laugh. Are you that type of friend to someone? Do you grieve when your friends grieve, do you laugh when your friends laugh, do you get on your knees and thank God for the people He has put in your life? Do you pray for these friends as if you were praying for yourself?

God has blessed all of us with friends in our lives. Friends are there to encourage, build up, love and watch out for one another. Again I ask are you that type of friend to someone?

Religion Vs. Relationship

Did you know the bible calls us to be modest? Not just in our clothing but in our conversations and behaviors also. Did you know that just because you wear long skirts, you are not more holy than the next person? (No I'm not saying long skirts are bad) Yes the God has rules for how we should act, speak, and dress however if you are doing everything to the T but missing the personal relationship then all of your efforts are in vain. Without praying, searching out who God is, searching the heart of Jesus and knowing more about Him you are not going to get anywhere fast. Jesus said in order to know the difference between a Christian and a fake you need to look at their fruit. Ok no we are not trees, you can not pick cherries off our fingers but the fruit of our lives. You can take that literally and say their children, or you can look at it and say their behaviors and attitudes. If you are living your life for Jesus there are things you will not be doing. One of them would be dressing like a hoochie mama. (I have no idea if I spelled that one right. It doesn't seem to be in my spell check. Ha ha) Another would be lying, or stealing.

Children as fruit: You can tell a lot about how people parent by watching their children for 5 min. One thing is small children have not learned to control their tongues so things just come out. Second I firmly believe that a child will only get away with what the parent allows. I'm not saying the child will only do things that they are allowed I am saying they will only "get away with what they are allowed". If you tell a child they can not have something and they right away end up in a melted pile of mush on the ground screaming and yelling it is obvious that the parent has allowed it. Of course when this happens in public the parent is embarrassed. But what if the parent at home does not allow that behavior. The first time that child displays that type of behavior if the parent deals with it swiftly and sternly there is a greater chance of it not happening in public. I have a very strict rule in my home. It is "if it is not cute when they are 15 then it is never cute". Things like playing with food, jumping on furniture or throwing a fit. You can not allow it then suddenly ohh you are 5 now you can't do that anymore. It is much wiser to just never allow bad behavior. Ok sorry tangent. Back to fruit. If you children are obedient, helpful, respectful, and caring your "fruit" is something that will show others where your heart is. If your "fruit" is destroying things, hurting others and being a pain all the time then it is showing how you parent and the fruit is just not there.

If you are reading your bible, searching for the true heart of God, all of the fruit comes. You don't have to do anything to impress others, or try to make them believe you are holy. When you die God is not going to ask your friends if you were holy or not. HE KNOWS!!! Someone I know became a Christian a few months ago. One of her prayers were "God I'm not going to change your going to have to change me." When she told me this I laughed so hard. That is what a Christian is, someone who changes from being a part of this world in to someone more like God. Since that prayer this person has changed soooo much!!! HUGE leaps and bounds. When you seek Him you become more like Him. You will start to dislike things of this world that previously didn't bother you. If God tells you to only wear long skirts fine but don't just do it because you think you are closer to God for it.

(Yes I'm picking on the long skirts however I mean no harm they are not bad they are just my example. I do wear long skirts most of the time. They are very comfortable, and many grow with the ever changing belly every year or so!!)

We have had some big things happen in the last month or so. A child we knew something was wrong with but couldn't figure out what because she was smart, and all the behaviors didn't seem to add up has been diagnosed autistic. We are waiting on a appointment with a specialist to hopefully learn what we can do to help her function better, and help her learn easier.

We switched every bedroom in our house around! My craft room is still feeling the pain from this venture. I have many things that still need a home but God will have to provide the time to do that later, right now does not seem to be the right time.

After 14 years I found family I had been looking for. We are pretty sure of what I thought. Now we are just waiting for the DNA test results. (Did you know you can buy DNA tests at Walgreens?) This in itself has been interesting. Introducing new family after 31 years is interesting. Don't bother asking me how I feel about it cause I honestly don't know. Right now I'm just rolling with it.

The baby is crawling, waving, saying ma ma and da da. Today she got herself "stuck" again. However for the first time she crawled backwards to get herself out. She also figured out how to crawl onto the bottom part of the end table. She loves to chase people around in her walker. I think her favorite part is running over our toes!!! I don't think anyone is ever ready for a crawling baby. Crawling will soon mean walking. She is already doing good at holding fingers and walking. Her first teeth seem to be getting close to emerging also. I can't believe how fast she is growing up.

Yesterday my girls woke up all itchy. There were lots of bumps all over their legs. Especially in the back of the knee. We watched the bumps all day and by bedtime there were twice as many. They have the chicken pox! I have no idea where they got it from. My boys seem fine. The baby doesn't have any spots, but has been fussy. I can't tell if it is teething, or she doesn't feel good. We will be having a pox party for any and all that would like to attend. The little boy came down the stairs asking the girls "Where is the chicken pox. Give me the chicken pox!"

Last night one of my girls woke up "starving" so she made herself some bread and peanut butter. I stayed up with her and I cut up some cantaloupe while I waited for her to be ready for bed again. Then she told me she wanted to do her spelling. It was 2 am!! I informed her it could wait till morning. But she had it in her head that she HAD to do her spelling. After trying to explain it to her I could see that it was more of an internal "I have to do my spelling now" than a I want. So she did her spelling. 20 min and about 50 yawns later we were off to bed again only for it to be time to nurse the baby. I'm beginning to believe that sleep is not actualy necessary for moms. We somehow seem to have a superhuman ability to stay awake long hours, and somehow function the rest of the day. I did have an idea today. If I just tape my eyes open my children will actually think that I am fully awake!

So that is just a small update on our crazy family. In the middle of lots of changes, stressful times, and just plain crazy we are enjoying each other as a family. Playing together doing chores together, and learning together. I think the together part is the most important part. I'm off to go make some food! Food is just as good as sleep right??? =)

Perception

Many put much effort into how they are perceived. Some wear lots of make-up to hide what they feel are imperfections. Some people color their hair to look a certain way. Some people are dressed to the 9's and look perfect when they go out. The way we look, dress, speak, and behave are all ways that give others impressions of us.

No matter what you do people are going to have an impression. But what kind of impression are you giving them? I once had someone surprised when they came over that I was willing to show them my house that was untidy. I thought it was odd to be embarrassed about my house. I thought "Yes it is messy right now, I would like it to be clean but what is there to be embarrassed about? God already saw it!" I don't clean my house so others will be impressed. I clean my house because I am uncomfortable when the house is messy. I get easily agitated when things are messy. When company is coming over I prefer my kitchen to be clean at least because who wants to eat at some ones house when their kitchen is a mess. I'm not talking just dirty dishes but when the kitchen is gross, no one wants that.

No one is perfect. I have proof! God said so! Jesus was the only sinless man on earth, and even Christ didn't throw the first stone! Why as a society do we judge others so harshly. When we perceive that others do something better than us we are intimidated. Everyone is going to do something better than you. It may be cooking, cleaning, writing, crafts, or whatever. God gave us all different gifts. God made you perfect for your family. God knows you are not good at crafts, or writing, or public speaking. That is ok! You have strengths in something else. You may cook well, or play piano beautifully. You have all the tools you need to be the mom God wants you to be. So instead of picking on people for their weaknesses we should all encourage each other in our strengths.

I'm sure everyone can come up with a time when even their strengths were weak due to changes in life, or pure exhaustion. Every life has seasons. Not everyone will be in the same season at the same time. Enjoy where you are. Spend your time being who you are. Trying to impress others is time consuming, and exhausting. Plus the one you need to answer to is God and He already knows your strengths and weaknesses. He created them!

It is well with my soul

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.


It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.


Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.


It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.


My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!


It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.


And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.


It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

This is one of the hymns we sang yesterday at church. This is one of my favorite songs, however I am not sure that I ever really stopped to think about the words. What does it mean for it to be "well with my soul". Am I ok with God's plan or am I still trying to control it all.

Life has not been easy for me lately. There have been a few things that have thrown a wrench in MY plans. Of course these things are no surprise to God. Just as I thought things were finding a new normal several new revelations have appeared that may have a large impact on my family. Time will tell how this plays out but for the moment I am put in a very unique position. I have have 2 ways things could go and both will change my life in some way.

So while trying to sort out all the changes, and trials in my life right now I find myself wanting to complain. I know my closest friends would probably say I am a whiner right now. I have forgotten Job. I have forgotten that no matter what is going on in my life it can always be worse. We have a roof over our heads. I have 5 beautiful children, a wonderful husband, and so much more. What do I really have to complain about? I feel sometimes that I am like my 2 year old who is prone to being upset when he does not get what he wants. Lately he has come up with a new way of dealing with disappointment. He will come to me and ask for something like some candy. When I tell him no he responds with "awwww" in his cute little voice. Then moves on. No whining complaining, or fits. Just a simple "awww" then deals with it. I strive to be like my 2 year old in this area. I want to just say awww and then be able to deal with the fact that what I planned is not alway what God planned.

So God created the universe. God has numbered every hair on my head. God loves me. God created me. God created my children. Nothing going on right now surprises God. He has a plan. He has the big picture, and I have a tiny port hole view of things. I can only see right in front of me but not to the left and to the right. So I should trust in Him, and sing "it is well with my soul". If I am trusting everything in Him all of these things should be well with my soul. In the mean time I will also remember that Hebrews 11 promises rest at the end of this life. I'm gunna need it!

large family???

I don't feel like we have a big family, but I am constantly reminded how big we are compared to other families. As we are often asked questions like "Do you know what causes that?" and "Are you done yet?". 100 years ago people would have been proud to have a family this size, and so much larger. No we don't have a farm, we live in a subdivision, but we still have chores to do. I think chores build character in children. If children are raised without ever having responsibilities how will they ever learn? They will not one day wake up and say "I would like to start working hard now!" Instead they will either learn the hard way through many failures, or just never get it. I pray my children learn to work hard so they will be prepared for the hard times later in life, and enjoy the good ones even more.

Having a "large" family has brought a few challenges to our home. The average family in America is 1.86 children according to the 2000 census. So guess what homes, and cars are built for. With the invention of the minivan people thought ohh hey this is great it will fit the whole family! Well for us, yes we fit in a minivan however there is zero room to move once you include car seats, and forget about adding groceries! Plus if we have guests we would have to travel in two cars because we would not fit in one vehicle. So we upgraded I'm sure much to my neighbors sadness. =) We now drive around in a 12 passenger van. I love the leg room, the space for my children to move, and the fact that when I put on my turn signal people MOVE!

According to the 2000 US census there are 1.86 children per family. Think about that. There is one mom and one dad. Now if the average family has less than 2 children what is going to happen to the population of the country? Yes people from other countries become citizens all the time. But think about your family line. In just a few generations your family line can completely disappear. That means the heritage of your family will become extinct if this trend continues. And yes I have heard the over population ideas. For anyone that would like to tell me that our country is over populated I encourage you to take a road trip! Please look hard to see if you can possibly find some extra space where a family might be able to fit. I for one have driven across the country a few times. Trust me we are not over populated! And what about jobs if we have more people. Umm HELLO if there are more people then there will be a higher demand for things, and in turn will create more jobs. Just my 2 cents.

Back to my "large" family:

Laundry is another item that is challenging for a "large" family. First of all unless you have a super capacity washer you are in trouble. I have 2 boys that are 4 and 2. They make a mess!!!! So their clothes have to be washed every time they wear them. Plus I have determined boys are gross. My girls can wear a skirt twice before it needs to be washed some days. Not all days but some. They can get messy too! Keeping MT. Laundry under control sometimes takes some effort. The house God gave us had a folding door to a area in the hall that held the washer dryer, and the water heater. Sounds good right? Easy to get to, confined right? So where to you put your dirty stuff? Where do you put all your detergent? In our case we make our own detergent so we have a 5 gallon bucket for it. Our solution was to re-wire, and put new plumbing in the garage, and move the laundry area to the garage. My husband had it done in a day. Now we have an area for our dirty clothes 3 bins, whites, darks, and linens. Plus room for our detergent, and our laundry baskets. Plus no more constant noise from the washer and dryer being on while we are trying to do schoolwork. Spin cycle can be loud!

Now food for a "large" family can be challenging. Big pots, big pans, storage for the food, and then where to put all your supplies. First extra counter space is needed. I have learned that the kitchen table is a great place to do prep work. When making pancakes it can take all day! My solution: 2 griddles. I can now make 10 pancakes at a time! We hardly ever had waffles because it took so long. I found 2 belgium waffle makers on sale. So now it takes 15 min or less to make pancakes or waffles for our family. Half the time it used to. Plus now since we have the empty space in the hall where the washer and dryer were my husband installed shelves and we have a pantry. Or as one of my friends calls it the prayer closet. (The first few times she came over for a meal as I was preparing things I would leave the kitchen and come back with food. Finally she asked where I was getting all the food. I told her I left the room prayed real hard and as I walked back the food appeared. =) Then she followed me and saw our lovely pantry.)

Living in a society where children are not cherished is very challenging. We get many comments of "my your hands are full" and "are they all yours?" from people not realizing how rude they are being. I love to see the looks on their faces when I tell them I homeschool my children and do not have babysitters. Their jaws just about hit the floor. In our society money, status and entertainment are cherished. At the end of the day I have my family to cuddle with, and spend time with. At the end of my life I will be able to say "Wow that was a lot of fun! God blessed me beyond what I could have ever imagined for myself." And I pray now that my children will all be able to look back at their childhood and be able to remember that family is more important than money, status and entertainment. Some things are more challenging but they are soooo worth it!

When everything you work for has to change

For the last 7 years I have been in "fix" mode. My daughter at a young age started displaying strange behaviors. Doctor after doctor told me she was fine. Finally at 14 months old we got her physical birth defect diagnosed, then came the physical therapy, and the hours and hours of exercises to strengthen her body so she could turn a door knob, and put on a shirt.

Ahh relief. For a brief few minutes we were just excited that there was a solution to a problem. However that quickly faded as other behavior issues began to present. Drooling was one of them. After a child is 2 they usually do not keep drooling on themselves. This alone took a lot of my time reminding her to stop drooling. Also bed wetting. Countless hours were spend changing sheets. All of which doctor after doctor told me were normal. Then there was a break through. The physical therapist said "I'm not sure what it is but something is a bit off." I thought what? Someone else finally sees it too! Then the diagnosis seemed to all go along the lines of auditory processing problems. Then after a trip to the pediatrician we found out about absence seizures. I thought all seizures meant you were on the ground convulsing. No not these ones. But it explained all the drooling, and the bed wetting.

By then I had already began testing different things on her. I eliminated MSG from our diet. I could not believe how many foods had it in there. By the time I was done there was nothing in my cabinets but things with one or two ingredients. More and more time and brain power was spent on learning what foods our bodies do best with, herbs, and nutrition. I also noticed that red food coloring had a large impact on her. After the MSG and red food coloring were eliminated the seizures and the drooling seemed to get so much better. I tried so many different things on her. We have tried allergy testing. She has no allergies. We tried heavy metal testing. She is fine. We have not vaccinated her.

Recently she has gotten worse. I'm not sure honestly if she is the same and my level of dealing with it has changed, or if she is really worse. We went back to the neurologist. The type of seizures has changed. She is now having convulsion seizures in her sleep. But this time I also came armed with my "list". I had written down all of her "odd" behaviors. My list was met with a sympathy look from the doctor. I was then handed a questionnaire. I filled it out as carefully as I could. As I read the questions I realized what the test was for. It was a autism questionnaire. When I read the questions and noted how many times I had to check the "all the time" box I knew what the results were going to be before I had finished filling it out. The next day the doctors phone call confirmed what I already knew. She is autistic. Her IQ when it was tested at 3 was well over genius level. It is because of her "smarts" that others, and doctors didn't see anything wrong. Her abilities to repeat information she has heard kinda threw people off of where the focus should have been. Autism is not how much you know but how you interact, and behave. When she has a full blown melt down because one of her toys is touched by someone else that has nothing to do with her "smarts" but it does effect the whole family.

I have spent the last 7 years trying to "fix" her and make her better. I never thought it was one thing that would help but I did think that there was a magical combination of things I could do to make her better. After all it was a "magical combination" of things that fixed the morning sickness so there must be a fix for her too. So now what do I do now that this can't be fixed? There is no magical pill to fix this, or combination. The diets and treatments that people talk of all the time for autism get there children to be better but not perfect. She is already high functioning, and I'm pretty sure it is because of all we have done already. So what do I do now? How do I help her now? I can't fix her so what do I do with her?

We are planing on trying something new so that our house works better, and her frustration levels stay low. She has been very frustrated lately. She will be getting her own room. Her own space. Her own tape. Yes tape is very important to her. She will be able to go to HER space and just be herself. No one touching her things. We hope that this will benefit the whole family. This should bring her frustration level down, and in turn the rest of the family's frustration down. Her bedroom will also be in a spot where it will be much easier for me to keep tabs on her.

So how does one change from fixing mode to dealing with it mode. In our case there is no one thing that caused this. This has always been her. From birth this has been her. Because of her birth defect we know that at 6 weeks gestation, there was a short time that there was a lack of blood flow to her. So I guess that means we are lucky she is here even. I'm pretty sure that has something to do with the way her brain works too. Nothing could have prevented it, and there was probably no real cause for it. Just a freak thing that happened. So now I guess we have to learn how to cope and deal with the cards we are dealt instead of fixing them.

Rebekah's story

Well I guess it is about time for me to write Rebekah's birth story. She is 3 1/2 months old already!

My whole pregnancy I was excited that we were going to have another baby, but I did not know where to have her. My last 2 births were at home in California with a midwife. They were born in a tub, and I couldn't imagine having another baby without having a tub! My first 2 were born in a hospital and due to nurses just not paying attention there were complications.

But now we live in Alabama where it is illegal to have a midwife assist you at home with delivery. It seems crazy to me that I can have a baby at home without a midwife and that is legal, but I would have to break the law if I wanted anyone with expertise to assist. I knew I wanted nothing to do with the hospitals. I was seeing an OB here who from what I have heard from everyone was the most natural doctor of all of them. However he had horrible bedside manner. After each appointment with this man I left angry and upset. I would call a friend after every appointment and rant about it. This was not someone who I wanted when I was in labor anywhere near me. Anger is not the emotion I wanted to feel as I brought a new life into this world.

So I began to calculate how much money it would cost to drive to California, and stay there for a while, plus how much it would cost for the midwives, and living expenses while we were there. Over and over I did the math. Then I realized baby #5 would need a car seat. Our van had enough seats however fitting one more car seat in it would be incredibly tight! I didn't even want to think how we would all drive from California back to Alabama with that many car seats. It seemed very unpleasant! My task at hand was now to find a bigger vehicle. A 12 passenger van used but not trashed is not an easy thing to find! Finally I found a van that I liked, and no matter how many times I looked at other vans I kept coming back to the same one. I decided God had spoken and this was our van. (Same thing happened with the house we live in.) I got more information on it, and made arrangements to go get it in Atlanta 4 hours from our house. I put our old van on craigslist. Within 24 hours we had our van sold, for $1100 more than we were asking for it! After buying the 12 passenger van, warranty, and paying for the rental that we needed one way to go get it we still had enough money to get us to California, and then some.

The plans were all falling into place. Not nearly as fast as I wanted them to go but all in God's timing. My grandmother flew out here the night before our big trip. I began feeling like something was wrong and began to worry about the baby but knew it would all be fine once we got to California. We left October 20th and made it to my midwives on October 28th. We spent a night at a friends house and a few nights in Reno to visit with my mom. By the time we arrived at my chiropractor everything hurt! My ankles were HUGE and my whole body ached. He adjusted just about every joint in my body, then we were off to see the midwives. Children cheering in the van that we were finanly getting to our destination, and they got to see people who they had missed very much. When we got to their house, my children all jumped out and ran leaving me, the youngest and my grandmother to trail behind. I was excited to finally have someone to take care of me and my baby that loved both of us and was not just another patient for them to see. At that point they told me the baby may be breach but was not sure yet. I was to do all of my exercises and REST! At that point I am pretty sure I laughed. Resting with 4 young children and my husband 2500 miles away for 6 more weeks. I didn't see rest happening any time soon.

Days past fairly quickly. We filled our days with old friends and our old homeschool group. Since we were staying about an hour from the midwives, and our friends the days we saw friends, it was an all day adventure. Walking became very difficult, and my heartburn became unbearable. When we went back to the midwife they were sure she was breach. At that point I knew what the worry about the baby was. She was not positioned correctly.

Homeopathics were given, exercises, and convincing the baby she was not where she needed to be. Then she turned. What a sick feeling I had while she turned and then there was RELIEF! I could breathe, the heartburn was gone, and walking was better. Her heart rate was perfect, she dropped down into my pelvis and went to sleep. She seemed like she was much more comfortable too!

My husband arrived in early Dec. just in time for the big snow storm to hit. We were in the foothills so we got lots of snow. Over 8 inches. It was enough for an area that just gets a light dusting once a year to snow us in! The power went off all day. But the children loved it. I took the youngest out to play and was worried he would slip on the iced stairs. I fell! I hit the stairs so hard. My leg and foot were all bruised because I made sure not to fall on my toddler, or my belly. The baby seemed to be ok, she didn't move for a bit but was sleeping when I had fallen. I had a doppler so I had my husband get it and we checked her heartbeat and she was fine, just sleeping. A bit later she woke and was moving just like she should. A few days later we went to the chiropractor and found out I had jammed my leg up into my hip, and messed up my wrist, and ankle. All of that was adjusted and I was back to normal with just a bit of bruising left.

1 week before christmas I began to start getting restless. I wanted my baby in my arms. My due date was the 29th. My 3rd child was 3 weeks early so in my mind I was thinking ok baby lets go! We went shopping and I was having lots of contractions. They were 5 min appart and pretty strong but they were only 30 -45 seconds long. We finished our shopping then headed home in hopes of meeting our new family member that night. The contractions kept up and I went to bed and thought I would be woken up at some point in the middle of the night by them. I woke up at 7am the next morning. Still having contractions but not as strong. They finaly stopped around 3 in the afternoon. I was disspointed but thought thats ok it will start again soon. Contractions came and went many times. With each contraction my patience slipped away and my smile began to fade.

Christmas day came the children were all excited family was over, and no baby. It was a very sad day for me. There were presents under the tree for Rebekah and she was not in my arms yet. All the christmas pictures had 4 children instead of 5 in them. I just felt as if my whole family was not there. I was begining to get very irritable. When one family asked if it was time yet I replied with "I will let you know when I see a head!"

A few days after Christmas we talked with the midwives and they reminded me that the dream that I had for her. In my dream my labor did not start until the 30th. I began to loose hope. Something strange happens when you have contractions for days. I do not know if it is hormones or just being tired but I get very sad. The 29th, I lost it. I stood crying in the shower that my baby was never going to come out. I wanted to badly to hold her and kiss her but I couldn't. On the 30th I wouldn't get out of bed. My husband snuck out of the house and called the midwives. He explained I was done! I talked with Kaleem on the phone and she asked me "Are you ready to have this baby yet?" I though of course I am get her out! But then realized I was not really ready to go through labor. I had been getting nervous each time the contractions got strong. Fear had set in. I did not want fear to be any part of this labor or birth. I had birthed my 3rd child in fear and it was very very painful. My 4th child there was no fear and it was a wonderful birth. I hung up the phone with her and prayed and thought about it for a bit. I realized I had to go through it no matter what and got the feeling that God was saying "now or never." So now it was!

I called Kaleem back and told her I'm ready lets go. She gave me a list of things to do and told me they would be at the house at 10pm. I called my friend who with her daughter were planning on being at the birth. I told them to come at 10pm. I took a shower, and got things ready. At 3pm I began taking the concoctions I was told to take. I took them and sat on the birth ball and spent time with my family until about 8pm. We put the children to bed and I began to walk and take my concoctions. My friend and her daughter showed up around 10:30 pm. By then the contractions were coming very regularly. I was eating and walking around the living room. With each contraction I had to stop and lean on something. I began to count in my head with each contraction then I would continue walking. Then I needed my husband to help support me with each contraction. I counted and focused on a speck on the floor. At that point I decided the midwives were taking to long and had my husband call to see where they were. They were happy to know we were checking on them because they knew labor had begun. The midwives were only about 10 min away. They showed up a bit after 11.

I had my friend bring me a towel and the birth ball so I could lay on it with my knees on the ground. I labored like that until the midwives were there, and ready to check me. I was so excited and scared at the same time. The number they were about to tell me was going to tell me how much farther I had to go. I knew how much work my body had already done. Now I just needed to know how much more to do. Marlene checked me and told me I was doing good. "What number I need a number" I told her. She said "six". Ohhh the relief. It was not 8 but I would take 6. I know the hard part for my body was getting to 6. I began asking how long it took with the rest of my births. Micah was about 4 hours, Ben was about 3 hours. I thought ok so another 3 hours and I will have baby sounds good! I continued to labor on the ball with my husband helping to support me. All of a sudden I told Marlene I want in the tub. It was getting harder to deal with the contractions and I knew the tub would be the answer to my pain.

They began filling the tub, and that is when the hot water heater decided it didn't want to keep up! So off to taking every pot we had in the house and boiling water. Lots and lots of water boiling. I went to the bathroom and felt a huge desire to push. I kept thinking no not yet, not on the toilet! I gave a few small pushes and the desire to push went away, but the pain eased a bit. I got in the tub and suddenly the pain was nothing! I remember talking with Marlene and telling her it didn't hurt anymore it was just pressure. "I can do this!" I told her. She replied with the same smile she has when she sees a baby for the first time and tells me "That's all labor is, is pressure" The contractions began to get harder, and harder until the no longer felt like simple pressure but strong pressure. I got very sleepy and began to sleep between contractions. I could no longer count out loud so I would move my hand and Marlene would count for me as I stared at her. Suddenly I realized I was very close to seeing my baby. I had my friend get the other 4 children up. They all came bounding in with huge grins.

I began to feel a bit like pushing but not the overwhelming feeling to push. I checked and had just a bit of a lip of my cervix left. Marlene then told me we needed to break my water and it would be gone. Once my water broke I had to push! Marlene told me to wait a few contractions but I told her "No she is coming out NOW!" I gave one big push and could feel that she had moved down. The next contraction I pushed out her head. Ohhhh the relief! I felt wonderful for abut 10 seconds. Then decided no this hurts! I then told my husband to pull her out. I knew very well that you can't just pull them out but I felt like I couldn't do anymore. Then the next contraction started. I pushed the rest of her out. My husband caught her, and handed her to me. She was perfect! She didn't breathe right away but the cord was still connected. I got worried. Ok I got very worried but everyone else told me it was fine. Kaleem checked her heart rate, and breathing and she was fine. She didn't cry. She was so comfortable in my arms. The only time she cried is when I moved her to put more of her body in the water. She was in my arms and quite content.

We moved to the bed, and she nursed right away. First try she got a good latch and just looked around while she nursed. Daddy with the help of the children cut the cord. After she was done nursing, the midwives checked her out. 8 lb 2 oz. and 20 1/2 inches long and beautiful! The children helped get her diapered and dressed. At that point I realized I forgot to get the diapers out and the baby's clothes ready. But they all figured it out. Clean up was done, children all got to hold the baby. Family pictures taken. Then mommy and baby got to snuggle up and go to sleep.

I can't imagine having a baby any other way than in the tub, and being able to go to bed with my newborn after the birth in my own bed.

By the time she was 5 weeks old she weighed 12 lbs! She is a happy baby that loves to laugh and play with her siblings. The rest of the children are so happy that she is here. They all love to talk about her birth, and tell her about it all the time. Our family can not imagine life with out our Baby Bekah.

Disappointment

Do you ever have high hopes for things when you buy them, only to find out that it is not all that it is hyped up to be??   I recently bought a pill shaver.  You know those things that get the little balls of fuzz off of your clothes, and the furniture? I have a hand me down couch that is covered in them and it would look beautiful except for those obvious signs of wear on it.  This pill shaver should have been my solution.  So for $9.99 I bought one.  (I had one 10 years ago but since then it seems to have gone missing) I put batteries in it and 1 hour later it still did just about nothing with the couch.  I thought well it keeps getting stuck maybe the batteries are just low.  NOPE not the problem at all.   So I will be returning it to the store and explaining how disappointed I am in the product.  

It seems many things in life are that way.  Infomercials, commercials, friends recommendations all of them have such hope and promise. I am one of those people that I try to assume the best of everything.  All purchases new experiences etc. I am very hopeful that it is going to be wonderful.  I am very often let down! I have come to realize that we are in a fallen world, and nothing here on earth are ever going to meet our expectations.  Some things we can change, or make better and some we can't.  We sang a song at church last night that was a wonderful hymn that really made me realize how I am not at home and I will never be satisfied until I get to my eternal home.   Here are the lyrics:

This world is not my home, I'm just passing through.
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue.
The angels beckon me from Heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore.
Chorus
O Lord you know I have no friend like you
If Heaven's not my home, then Lord what will I do?
The angels beckon me from Heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore.

They're all expecting me and that's one thing I know.
My Savior pardoned me and now I onward go.
I know He'll take me through, though I am weak and poor.


Chorus
O Lord you know I have no friend like you
If Heaven's not my home, then Lord what will I do?
The angels beckon me from Heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore.

Just up in Glory Land we'll live eternally.
The Saints on every hand are shouting victory.
Their song of sweetest praise drifts back from Heaven's shore
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore.

Chorus
O Lord you know I have no friend like you
If Heaven's not my home, then Lord what will I do?
The angels beckon me from Heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore.

I love when my children ask what Heaven is going to be like. That is the one thing that I know I will not be disappointed in when I get there.  In no way can my imagination ever come anywhere near how wonderful Heaven will be!  One of my children likes to think that there will be banana trees in Heaven.  Little does she know that the bananas will be the least of her concerns. She is going to be so surprised when she gets there!  I'm sure there will be her own banana tree more magnificent then she could ever imagine just for her.  Maybe it will grow golden bananas. Who knows!  I just know that I can rest assured that I will not be disappointed!

Do you help?????

If you are driving do you stop for accidents, or just slow down to look? If you see someone on the street that needs help do you walk a wide circle around them or do you sit down next to them to hear their story? If you see a friend is having a hard day do you take the time out to make sure they know you are there if they need you?

What about when you see a family struggling? Do you offer support? Meals? Do you lend a ear? What do you do when you see another family hurting? Do you watch from afar or do you go to them and see what you can do? Our society and in turn our churches have become very hands off. Don't ask don't tell, put on a happy face so no one knows what is going on. We no longer go to others to hold them accountable. We no longer ask if anyone needs help. We don't want to offend. We don't want to get involved. If you see a family or person struggling you should go to them and let them know you are there. Even if it means just sitting there quietly with that person that may be all they need is to know they are not alone. If you see problems creeping up with another families children, why would you not go to the parents to ask if everything is ok? When there are lots of little problems that means there is a large underlying problem, and those little problems are a symptom. If you have a headache your head does not just start hurting because it does that and that is the problem, there is something that causes your head to hurt. Instead of putting a band aid on it you find out what the root cause is and fix it.

We have a very self centered society, uncaring unless it gives us some gossip to share with someone else. It is time for all the Christians to stand up and start caring! I have been the center of everyones conversations "I think there is something going on over there." No one did anything. The problems got much worse and ended with me in the hospital for 6 days with depression. I went off the edge because no one had the "guts" to talk with us to find out what was going on. No one wanted to get involved. No one wanted to take the time from their busy day to help.

Matthew 25:42-45
For I was hungry and you game Me no food: I was thirsty and you gave Me no drink: I was a stranger and you did not take Me in naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.
Then they also will answer Him saying Lord when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?
Then He will answer them saying, "Assuredly I say to you inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these you did not do it to Me.

Do you want to have to explain to God at the end of your days why you didn't minister to the least of these? If you know something is wrong, and do nothing about it you are held accountable for it also. James 4:17 Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is a sin.

So there you have your choice do nothing when you know what is good, or do something about it, step out of your comfort zone. Help a family that you have been wondering about, befriend someone that needs a friend, sit with the homeless person and listen to their story, help an elderly lady in the grocery store who is struggling to pick up something she dropped. Whatever you do don't stand by and do nothing. Remember we have to give an account for our lives at the end of this.

God is in control not man!

Psalm 146
Praise the Lord
Praise the Lord, O my soul!
While I live I will praise the Lord
I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.
Do not put your trust in princes
Nor in a son of man
in whom there is no help.
His spirit departs
he returns to his earth
In that very day his plans perish.
Happy is he who has the God
of Jacob for his help
Whose hope is in the Lord his God
Who made heaven and earth
The sea, and all that is in them
Who keeps truth forever,
Who executes justice for the oppressed
Who gives food to the hungry.
The Lord gives freedom to the prisoners.
The Lord opens the eyes of the blind
The Lord raises those who are bowed down
The Lord loves the righteous
The Lord watches over the strangers
He relieves the fatherless and widow
But the way of the wicked He turns upside down
The Lord shall reign forever
Your God, O Zion, to all generations.
Praise the Lord!


Put your hope and trust in God and not man. God can do ANYTHING!!!! So as God told me this morning:
"Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!"

I am going to practice being still and trusting God instead of getting mad, and frustrated. I'm not saying I'm going to be perfect with this, but I know God is in control, and I will rest in Him.

How to save on childcare costs!

Ok so there is this "news" story that I just saw on yahoo on how to save on child care costs. It lists ideas like tax credits, cutting the babysitters pay (I'm sure the sitter loves that idea!), arranging some sort of swap with another family. Another thing mentioned is finding out if your company offers discounts anywhere.

Now I have a GREAT idea how to save child care costs. We practice it all the time. Our childcare costs for a whole year YES a year. Are you ready for it? $00.00 That is what we have spent on child care for the last 7 years. Every year we shell out $0! It has been hard to come up with that kind of money it really makes you work hard for that kind of dough!

The way we do this and this may seem crazy to a few, but we take care of them ourselves! GASP you mean spend time with them??? Yes I am with them ALL THE TIME. I even homeschool them. OK stop I know what you are saying you are saying good for you but I can't do that. I don't have the patience for that. Or I don't have a degree. Or I am not qualified to teach them. I think God gives better degrees than any college, plus what do you think Adam and Eve did? Do you think there children were shipped off to be with the other kids and a qualified teacher? Did you know that public school is a relativity new idea? Did you know that in the Bible it tells us to teach them diligently? Do you think that means just how to behave? How do you think they will learn how to cook or manage the bills if you don't teach them? Do you think that the school is going to do it? Our schools are failing miserably! And who said public school is free? First they have to have the right clothes, then you have to help buy the school supplies, then you have to buy things for fund raisers, then you have to pay for the field trips. Ohhhh noooo Johnny got something on his shirt now it is stained head off to the store again because he needs more new clothes. It is not free. My homeschooling including my church covering required by Alabama is $300 a year. That is for homeschooling a 4th grader, and a 1st grader, and preschool with my 3rd child.

Ok so back to the other thing that is running through your mind. We need my income to pay the bills. Look honestly at all of your expenses. Look at the extra gas, the eating out, the prepackaged lunch items, the foods you don't have time to make yourself so you buy them now. Look at the clothes that you would not have to buy if you didn't have to compete with the others at your workplace. Your car insurance may go down due to less miles traveled. No more take out every night. Look at all those expenses including child care add them all together. Now subtract that from your take home pay. Now there is not much left, or you are even in the red huh? So take care of your children. Save yourself some money, and you would even be helping the government out. They can't seem to figure out how to get all of these children that are wayward to become responsible. That is because it is not their responsibility it is YOURS to take care of your children, and trust me your children would love to spend more time with you!

My parenting book

Ok so I'm not going to write a book on parenting. It would be way to short it would be a pamphlet. So here are my tips:

Tip 1: Read your Bible.

Raise your children according to God's ways and you will be fine.

Tip 2: Expect more out of your children.

Do not talk down to them do not think that they don't understand you. If my children when they are 1 year old can follow directions like put that away, clean that up, and hand me potatoes when I need them while making dinner, they understand much more than you will ever think that they do.
Why do you think that they start talking so early. They look right at Mama and say "mama" because they know who you are. They know what you are saying. They are not dumb. But big but here they are master manipulators. That leads me to my next tip.

Tip 3: Do not let them manipulate you.

A sin is a sin. God sees them all equally so why not treat the sins equally? If they talk back correct them. If they throw something in the house correct them, if they are disrespectful to ANYONE parents included correct them. They have been watching you since they were born. Moms you know the look of them nursing or just sitting with you when they were first born how much they studied your face. Then when they began to crawl how they wanted to be involved in everything you were doing. Then walking if you swept the floor once the broom was put away they got it out. Then when they talk they use the same hand motions, and phrases you use. When they are 5 they want to do everything you do. They know you more than you know yourself. They can predict everything you do before you do it. They scratch their head when you do something out of character. They know they can push the button 5 times, but the 6th time they know they will get a reaction. They know where the true line is drawn. We may say don't do .... but then they know they can do it 3 times before they have a consequence. The line is drawn where we enforce it, not where we say it is. Our children know this and will manipulate the system for there advantage. Make your system the same every time and they will not have room to push.

Tip 4: Be consistent in everything you do.

That means no means no every time. If they are told to get in the car they should get in the car. If they don't there is a consequence. We parents should never have to ask our children a second time for anything! If you tell your toddler Do not touch the light switch and 5 seconds later he even reaches for it there should be a consequence. Otherwise you are letting them push and them form the line in the sand.

Tip 5: If you want socialized children then don't let them only be around children their own age. If you want children that can ultimately function in society then you need to give them exposure to different age groups. One of the best ways to do that is take them with you when you go out. Plus if you are leaving them with others to "watch" them while you are out look at all the one on one time you are missing. Turn off the radio, turn off the IPod, turn off the DVD's. Talk with your children. Count how many UPS trucks you pass count the school buses. Count white cars. It will evolve to conversation. Have your children sit with you during church, and be a part of your socialization after church. Yes children can sit through church just fine. Mine have been happily sitting through church since they were 2. (yes exceptions are made for babies) At about 2 1/2 our children are expected to sit through church. The conversations that are had after church can benefit the children. Spend time with other families. Share meals and talk as a family. Play games with other families. Your children will learn so much more when they are not "stuck" with only children their own age.

Tip 6: Expect more!

Expect your children to behave, expect your children to be respectful. Expect your children to be helpful. If you were a boss would you tolerate someone that just still doesn't get it after 6 months on the job? No you would fire them because they are not meeting expectations. Why after we teach our children how to do something like behave do we tollerate them to be disobedient? Expect good behavior out of them. Tell them what you want out of them, and praise them when the meet your expectations. Our children want to please us, so give them a chance to do a good job.

Tip 7: Give them chores!

They need chores. If you had someone always doing something for you your whole life how would you ever learn to do it for yourself? Teach them how to do laundry. My girls have done laundry since they were 5. Yes it is possible. My 2 year old son helps sort the laundry and put the clothes in the proper rooms. He is learning how to fold the laundry too. By the time your children are 10 they should be able to clean your whole house because little by little they have been trained to do it. I'm not saying that they need to just work all the time and no fun. There is time for fun, but there is time for work also. In the Bible it says no work no food. So make them work! They will thank you for it when they are older. When they know how to do the laundry (many many children go off to college and have no idea how to do their laundry! no joke), cook, clean, and run a household. It will not be easy for anyone if the day that they get married they have to learn all of this. Trust me it wouldn't be pretty.

Tip 8: Love your children.

That is why you need to discipline, correct, and train your children. It is because you love them. You want them to be the best adults, parents, and whatever they can be. All of that starts out with training them out of love. Hug them tickle them give them kisses. They are you children. A well behaved, trained child will have much more time for the hugs and kisses, and playing then the child that frustrates the parents.

Tip 9: You are setting patterns for your children's lives.

There is a joke that I heard a while back about a mom cutting the ends off the roast. The daughter asks "why do you always cut the ends off your roast?" The mom replies with "I don't know my mother always did it and now I do." Later the mom calls her mother to ask why. The response was "So it would fit in the pan." We do things all the time because we were raised to do it that way. I know someone who grew up with a swamp cooler in his room and now he can't go to sleep without loud white noise. Can you imagine being married to him? Whatever patterns we set up with our children now there is a good chance they will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Tip 10: If it is not cute when they are 5, 10, 15 or 20 it is never cute!

If you allow a child to make a giant mess in their room at 3 when do you teach them not to? Do you one day say ok you are 6 now today this stops? If you allow them to jump on the bed at what point do they "mature" enough to not be allowed to do it? 4 years and 200 days? If you allow them to play with their food instead of eating when do you stop that behavior? Wouldn't it be easier to stop the behavior the first time than after they do it 100+ times?

Here is the harsh part but unfortunately it is true. If you have any bad behaviors in your children; parents it is YOUR fault. No one did this to them, they are not born evil. They will do what they are allowed, and they will obey when told. If there is something in them that needs work it is YOUR job to do it. The blessings in your home are YOUR responsibility. If all parents took responsibility for their children's behaviors, attitudes, and actions this country would look much much different! So do your part and "train up your children in they way they should go."

Do you have a brain?

I have noticed many many people in our society just take whatever people tell them and take it as truth. Why do we have a website called snopes.com???? It is because the facts are out there and we should go to look things up for ourselves. Did you know that sometimes snopes.com is wrong too? We should never listen to a preacher and take his word for it we all have access to Bibles, and can look it up for ourselves. Our culture is getting into lots of trouble for the simple reason of no one checks the facts. How hard is it for someone to check snopes.com before forwarding a email that tells you to look under your car before you get in it because you don't know what or who may be under there, or not to take those papers off the windshield before you drive away. These are all out to scare us and they are being used all the time to get our society to do things. We are like a heard of cattle afraid of a dog because it has a loud bark. We are all being driven into the slaughtering house, but it is ok because they told us we would be safe. Common sense has become very uncommon.

Lets look at the presidential election that is quickly approaching. Now I am not going to tell anyone who to vote for because I believe we all have a brain, the facts are out there, and we all (if you are reading this) easily have access to the facts. Do your homework. Don't vote for the person because you have heard their name the most. Don't vote for someone because someone told you to. Look up ALL the candidates qualifications (yes there are more than 2 candidates) make a decision for yourself. Which candidate is going to lead our country into prosperity? Who is going to make choices that are best for the long run. Who is being up-front with everyone. Who is someone you would trust in a crisis. Our world is very different than it was even when I was a child. Imagine what those who are in there 70's or more have gone through and how the world has changed. Our country has had enough of lets deal with this for now and we will really fix it later. Lets look for long term solutions not quick fixes. Lets stop jumping on the band wagon because it is the popular thing to do. Look at lemmings. Should we all blindly follow each other around until we all fall off a cliff, or should we all grow some "brass ones" and make a decision for ourselves and our country for the better.

BTW voting is anonymous so if you don't want anyone to know who you voted for you don't have to tell them.

My revelation

So I had a revelation last night. That we are all tempted all the time. But just when we feel like things are going good, and life is great BAMM! We end up flat on our face. We are to constantly be looking out for the enemy and watching our every step.
I was telling my oldest the other day when she was doing something to be careful. Just when you feel like you got the hang of it, pride will come in. That is when you have watch out because you will make your mistake then and thats when you get hurt. So I'm sure you know what happened next. I got the yha mama I will be careful and 5 min later she got hurt.
It is so easy to take our life and think that WE have it under control and the whole time God is up there waiting for us to realize he has been waiting for us. When we keep our eyes on him and do not get ourselves entangled in the world, life is much better. But for some reason I am to thick headed to realize that all the time.

jumping on the bandwagon!

OK there is so much blogging going on I thought I would join in. Not that I have any time for it but hey thats ok. I can put it in my "I'll get to it later" pile. That pile is now the contents of a tote bag. Fairly soon it will need its own box. Plus I have a whole shelving unit with things I "need" to sew. In fact some of the things I have "needed" to sew have been there for so long that my children outgrew them, and I gave them away.