Tip 1: Read your Bible.
Raise your children according to God's ways and you will be fine.
Tip 2: Expect more out of your children.
Tip 2: Expect more out of your children.
Do not talk down to them do not think that they don't understand you. If my children when they are 1 year old can follow directions like put that away, clean that up, and hand me potatoes when I need them while making dinner, they understand much more than you will ever think that they do.
Why do you think that they start talking so early. They look right at Mama and say "mama" because they know who you are. They know what you are saying. They are not dumb. But big but here they are master manipulators. That leads me to my next tip.
Tip 3: Do not let them manipulate you.
Why do you think that they start talking so early. They look right at Mama and say "mama" because they know who you are. They know what you are saying. They are not dumb. But big but here they are master manipulators. That leads me to my next tip.
Tip 3: Do not let them manipulate you.
A sin is a sin. God sees them all equally so why not treat the sins equally? If they talk back correct them. If they throw something in the house correct them, if they are disrespectful to ANYONE parents included correct them. They have been watching you since they were born. Moms you know the look of them nursing or just sitting with you when they were first born how much they studied your face. Then when they began to crawl how they wanted to be involved in everything you were doing. Then walking if you swept the floor once the broom was put away they got it out. Then when they talk they use the same hand motions, and phrases you use. When they are 5 they want to do everything you do. They know you more than you know yourself. They can predict everything you do before you do it. They scratch their head when you do something out of character. They know they can push the button 5 times, but the 6th time they know they will get a reaction. They know where the true line is drawn. We may say don't do .... but then they know they can do it 3 times before they have a consequence. The line is drawn where we enforce it, not where we say it is. Our children know this and will manipulate the system for there advantage. Make your system the same every time and they will not have room to push.
Tip 4: Be consistent in everything you do.
Tip 4: Be consistent in everything you do.
That means no means no every time. If they are told to get in the car they should get in the car. If they don't there is a consequence. We parents should never have to ask our children a second time for anything! If you tell your toddler Do not touch the light switch and 5 seconds later he even reaches for it there should be a consequence. Otherwise you are letting them push and them form the line in the sand.
Tip 5: If you want socialized children then don't let them only be around children their own age. If you want children that can ultimately function in society then you need to give them exposure to different age groups. One of the best ways to do that is take them with you when you go out. Plus if you are leaving them with others to "watch" them while you are out look at all the one on one time you are missing. Turn off the radio, turn off the IPod, turn off the DVD's. Talk with your children. Count how many UPS trucks you pass count the school buses. Count white cars. It will evolve to conversation. Have your children sit with you during church, and be a part of your socialization after church. Yes children can sit through church just fine. Mine have been happily sitting through church since they were 2. (yes exceptions are made for babies) At about 2 1/2 our children are expected to sit through church. The conversations that are had after church can benefit the children. Spend time with other families. Share meals and talk as a family. Play games with other families. Your children will learn so much more when they are not "stuck" with only children their own age.
Tip 6: Expect more!
Tip 5: If you want socialized children then don't let them only be around children their own age. If you want children that can ultimately function in society then you need to give them exposure to different age groups. One of the best ways to do that is take them with you when you go out. Plus if you are leaving them with others to "watch" them while you are out look at all the one on one time you are missing. Turn off the radio, turn off the IPod, turn off the DVD's. Talk with your children. Count how many UPS trucks you pass count the school buses. Count white cars. It will evolve to conversation. Have your children sit with you during church, and be a part of your socialization after church. Yes children can sit through church just fine. Mine have been happily sitting through church since they were 2. (yes exceptions are made for babies) At about 2 1/2 our children are expected to sit through church. The conversations that are had after church can benefit the children. Spend time with other families. Share meals and talk as a family. Play games with other families. Your children will learn so much more when they are not "stuck" with only children their own age.
Tip 6: Expect more!
Expect your children to behave, expect your children to be respectful. Expect your children to be helpful. If you were a boss would you tolerate someone that just still doesn't get it after 6 months on the job? No you would fire them because they are not meeting expectations. Why after we teach our children how to do something like behave do we tollerate them to be disobedient? Expect good behavior out of them. Tell them what you want out of them, and praise them when the meet your expectations. Our children want to please us, so give them a chance to do a good job.
Tip 7: Give them chores!
Tip 7: Give them chores!
They need chores. If you had someone always doing something for you your whole life how would you ever learn to do it for yourself? Teach them how to do laundry. My girls have done laundry since they were 5. Yes it is possible. My 2 year old son helps sort the laundry and put the clothes in the proper rooms. He is learning how to fold the laundry too. By the time your children are 10 they should be able to clean your whole house because little by little they have been trained to do it. I'm not saying that they need to just work all the time and no fun. There is time for fun, but there is time for work also. In the Bible it says no work no food. So make them work! They will thank you for it when they are older. When they know how to do the laundry (many many children go off to college and have no idea how to do their laundry! no joke), cook, clean, and run a household. It will not be easy for anyone if the day that they get married they have to learn all of this. Trust me it wouldn't be pretty.
Tip 8: Love your children.
Tip 8: Love your children.
That is why you need to discipline, correct, and train your children. It is because you love them. You want them to be the best adults, parents, and whatever they can be. All of that starts out with training them out of love. Hug them tickle them give them kisses. They are you children. A well behaved, trained child will have much more time for the hugs and kisses, and playing then the child that frustrates the parents.
Tip 9: You are setting patterns for your children's lives.
There is a joke that I heard a while back about a mom cutting the ends off the roast. The daughter asks "why do you always cut the ends off your roast?" The mom replies with "I don't know my mother always did it and now I do." Later the mom calls her mother to ask why. The response was "So it would fit in the pan." We do things all the time because we were raised to do it that way. I know someone who grew up with a swamp cooler in his room and now he can't go to sleep without loud white noise. Can you imagine being married to him? Whatever patterns we set up with our children now there is a good chance they will stay with them for the rest of their lives.
Tip 10: If it is not cute when they are 5, 10, 15 or 20 it is never cute!
If you allow a child to make a giant mess in their room at 3 when do you teach them not to? Do you one day say ok you are 6 now today this stops? If you allow them to jump on the bed at what point do they "mature" enough to not be allowed to do it? 4 years and 200 days? If you allow them to play with their food instead of eating when do you stop that behavior? Wouldn't it be easier to stop the behavior the first time than after they do it 100+ times?
Here is the harsh part but unfortunately it is true. If you have any bad behaviors in your children; parents it is YOUR fault. No one did this to them, they are not born evil. They will do what they are allowed, and they will obey when told. If there is something in them that needs work it is YOUR job to do it. The blessings in your home are YOUR responsibility. If all parents took responsibility for their children's behaviors, attitudes, and actions this country would look much much different! So do your part and "train up your children in they way they should go."
Here is the harsh part but unfortunately it is true. If you have any bad behaviors in your children; parents it is YOUR fault. No one did this to them, they are not born evil. They will do what they are allowed, and they will obey when told. If there is something in them that needs work it is YOUR job to do it. The blessings in your home are YOUR responsibility. If all parents took responsibility for their children's behaviors, attitudes, and actions this country would look much much different! So do your part and "train up your children in they way they should go."
1 comment:
I liked your parenting book. It helped me remember what I should be doing. You taught an older woman a few things! God bless you!
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